10 Reasons Why Everyone Hates Bowling: One Reason I Love It Now

Yes, it's true. Over a year in Utah, and we finally ventured out to Payson to go bowling. "...or we could hang ourselves. Let's go bowling!"

For those of you not yet familiar with Jim Gaffigan's stand up routine on bowling watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5fm7QPA9zY or search on youtube.

I'll be honest, I really don't enjoy bowling. Heck, I can't even begin to imagine why. Oh wait, yes I can. See if you can relate.

1.) Who pays money to rent shoes they don't want to wear? Come on, you all know what I'm talking about.
2.) I usually end up with the broken lane, introduced by an overwhelmingly unenthusiastic staff member. "You're on lane 4, oh yeah it's not labeled anymore, just go to that filthy terminal, you might have to press really hard on the left arrow key, It'll be fine."
3.) They spray the shoes, but who cleans the bowling balls!? You want me to stick my fingers where?!
4.) Want a green ball? It's not in your size. Give up on color and just find something that fits your fingers? Your thumb fits but you're afraid if you do manage to fit your fingers in the other 2 wholes, when and if you actually to throw the ball it'll break your fingers and drag you halfway down the lane before  your head ends up in the gutter.
5.) You finally find a ball that fits all of your fingers (probably a hot pink) and you begin to worry whether anyone else will notice that you have dainty wrists.
6.) Your shoe laces are always WAY too long.
7.) I don't even know what the different lines are for so I always choose the second line, a little to the left of center.
8.) By time I release the ball, I'm pretty sure my wrong foot is forward. Not only did I overthink which foot I should step forward with first before I started awkwardly striding down the runway, but do an awkward little hop on the same leg as I rolled my ball with.
9.) Unless it's a strike, 99% of the time there is no right way to walk back to your friends/date. I can seriously think of 100 more pleasant uncomfortable things.
10.) Halfway back it clicks that you're either 100% repressing your emotions and are beginning to think the ball with the two smaller holes, broken fingers and your head in a gutter would have been a more attractive out. Either that or you're over-reacting in way that neither matches your disappointment, nor it's exact opposite, heck, I never know how to react, but you can bet I feel like you owe some kind of answer to my friends, even if  I know in my head that they don't care. Lol. Apologetic is the only thing that comes to mind. Ev. E. Ry. TIME!

I admit that it's still awkward for me to bowl, but to switch things up, I tried to go all out and add an element of fun to distract me from the discomfort I associate with bowling. It's a fun date idea. It's not for everyone, but it was fun for me and entertaining for my wife. I asked Josie to select a personality that I could attempt to imitate. I'll be the first to admit that I'm a little uncomfortable acting so I was over the top, and that's okay. I believe it's good to give yourself permission to be silly, it it bring you or your company joy. If viewing my dorky over-acting give even one of you the courage to give yourself permission to be silly, I'll count my video a success. It's not my intent to impress anyone. I've still got my reservations. =)

Our Story - Engagement at Disneyland (Her Favorite Place)

I don't get sick. I hadn't gotten sick for a couple years so far as I could remember anyway, but that evening before we all left for Disneyland, I could feel it. Josie suggested that I take some NyQuil so I could get some rest. I had never taken NyQuil before I figured because it had alcohol in it. My mother was very much into herbs and had always helped me keep sickness at bay. I didn't bring my traditional Echinacea and Golden Seal, Kyolic, and 1000mg Vitamin C supplements which was what I usually relied on when I got a tickle, so I said, what the heck, I'll try it.

Turns out, NyQuil and Jake pretty much equates to an 18 hour coma induction. I slept all night, and the whole car trip to California. It's a pretty funny inside joke now among the Robinson family. And to this day I have not taken NyQuil since. =) I will do DayQuil though, THAT stuff was made of miracles for me when already sick. The ability  to breath again and feel nasal relief was oh so satisfying.

Let me back up, it may be good context to say that while I was supposed to be "at work" I was out shopping for Josie's wedding ring. The service manager for Chuck-a-Rama (where Jos worked at the time) saw me walking outside Jared's with a big smile on my face, so of course that means, tell Josie. (Chris you will never live it down buddy!) So Jos already knew something was up. What she didn't know however, was that, even though I was pretty passionate about just getting a larger cubic zirconia gem for the main ring, Josie was passionately opposed and really wanted a legit diamond. I really hadn't been able to save up for the kind of ring a woman like Josie deserves, but I thought, as long as the engagement ring has a real diamond in it instead of a fake one, I'd have to stick to my budget and get a relatively small diamond.

I didn't realize then that I'd be getting second hand comments on how "cute" the ring was. Or how it was "such a small and simple diamond". It was what I could afford at the time and did finally upgrade it thankfully. It was a difficult couple of years, so readers unmarried beware - get it right the first time. =)

Anyway, back to drugged Jake and Disneyland. We first went to jungle cruise, then a few others. Finally, her favorite ride, "The Haunted Mansion". As soon as we stepped into the buggy, I made sure I got the ring out securely into my left hand, allowing Josie to get in first. Then, as soon as the buggies turned in the dark, I slipped the ring on her finger! She was SO mad cause she couldn't see it and had to sit all the way through the ride before she'd find any light. She smiled and laughed and we excitedly ran outside where one of her attending friends was ready with a camera.

Not the best audio, and I had all but already lost my voice from being sick, but the jest of what I said was as follows:

"Josie Lynn Robinson, when we first talked about rings you were adamant about getting a diamond, because diamonds are forever, and you wanted us to be forever. I want you to know that you mean more to man than anything in the world, I want you to be my forever. So I present you with this diamond and ask, if you'd be make me the happiest man in the world and be my forever? Will you marry me?"

Then she tackled me, wouldn't answer until after she was done hugging me. I figured, cause she was smiling and crying it was a yes but then her brother told me my shoe was untied and she said I don't know, then no, (the tease) and finally "Yes, of course I'll marry you!"

Happiest day of my life up to that point.

Our Story - Exclusive Dating to Pre-Engagement

"Whoah, whoah there speed racer!" Josie would call out as I began picking up speed on my crutches. I didn't like the way lortab made me feel so I opted to go with ibuprofen which, thankfully helped a lot more than I anticipated! It still took me forever to shower, get dressed and ready for a date, but we made it a priority to go. This date was to Macey's Grocer where we would purchase towering soft serve cones. I loved Josie's compassion, like when she super-glued a gaping wound on my nose shut after tripping through a newly replaced screen in our doorway,unable to manage my falling weight on a useless leg let a lone my clumsily crashing crutches. I probably needed stitches, but superglue she said would work just as well. She was always near me, but not so overbearingly compassionate that she couldn't joke lovingly at my expense. "Sir Hobbles-a-lot," "Turbo" "Gimp". In Josie's family, teasing was an expression of acceptance and love. "If they don't make fun of you, then you KNOW they don't like you." It's was an adjustment for me. I had to learn sarcasm and will admit I may never get good at it. But I found her wit enchanting as her love for me was obvious.

Her first trip away to Vegas, I went with her to meet her dad and brother in Provo. We had only been dating about a week and I was already meeting her family, oh boy! She prefaced that her dad was a little intimidating and looked like a biker, shaved head, goatee, and could squat me, bench me, and if I ever hurt her, kill me. I laughed but came to learn it was an excellent description. In fact, after seeing him, I thought, oh man, what am I getting myself into! Already I could tell her brother was the cool kid in orchestra that didn't fit the orchestra mold, and her dad, oh man, her dad! =| I was glad to be in Santaquin with my comfortable family!

Even when Josie and I were apart for a week the second time she left on a trip to Vegas about a month before our getting engaged. We skyped (video called,) and attempt scripture study every night. We even fit in a virtual date, pressing "play" at the same time to "Princess and the Frog" one of our favorite Disney movies. (Gag!) She bought me a little plush giraffe "Jepsen" and sprayed it with "Nolie" one of her favorite perfumes/body sprays. She had me! It was silly, but I kept that plush giraffe nearby and smelled it often. My thoughts never wandered far from her... it's like she knew!  We flirted constantly via text. It was like she was trained in the art of catching and keeping a man! Haha. Whatever it was, it worked, and I was hooked. I had my sights on only her. Beautiful, endearing Josie. *Sigh

She returned from Vegas and expressed, before arriving, that she'd felt so physically distant while she was away that she could think of nothing more rewarding than to be in my arms. I could walk limp without a cane now so I thought this would make for a good opportunity to kick up the sexy, I opened the door with a rose between my teeth, closed the door behind her, and lifter her up against the door to kiss her. only to be immediately seen by a trailing roommate approaching the see through glass pained door! Hahaha! We both felt SO embarrassed but ever grateful, for my pesky roommate, Bobert! With those judging eyes and random sneak surprise visits to the living room nearly every time Josie and I tried to make out!! He inadvertently helped keep us in check as we grew in maturity and respect for each other over the next 5 months before our wedding.

Since I didn't live far from the Logan Temple, we'd sometimes have scripture study on the grass near the temple, or walk its grounds. On one such walk Josie expressed that she felt ready and wanted me to propose. She would tease me "now would be a good time to propose to me." Or "that was really cute, you look really nice, are you going to propose?" The teasing was incessant! She wasn't aware that my trip to the "dentist" that weekend was actually a planned trip to ask her father for her hand in marriage. So I confessed that I too felt like we were headed toward marriage, but didn't know when the right time was. "It doesn't matter," she teased again, "now is a really perfect time." =)

Now was NOT a perfect time! I was a traditional, old fashion kind of man, and there would be no proposing before I met with her dad in person and there would be a meaningful and planned proposal! The trip down to Vegas would be one day down, and one day up and I was nervous. I called and planned a visit. I later learned that Jo Anne (Josie's Mom) insisted she knew the purpose for my visit, but Marty (Josie's Dad) kept shrugging it off, perhaps not wanting acknowledge that he's be losing his little girl already and to soon to a tall skinny punk that didn't even follow football!

The night I arrived, they prepared a family staple, tater-tot casserole. So delicious. We shot the breeze for a while, and then when Weston (Josie's Brother) perceptively and probably knowingly left the room, I eased into my purpose for coming to visit. "So... I imagine you've figured the main reason of coming to visit with you by now..." I started off awkwardly. "I acknowledge, x, y, and z... but I've come to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage." I can't remember whether he laughed or cried or what, but I do remember him saying he'd never done this before and feeling overwhelmed because this would be the first and only chance he'd have to do it. He expressed deep love for Josie, provided some cautions, and said yes! And then, through tears he gave me probably the best advice marriage advice I've ever received to date. "When she comes home, drop what you're doing, take time to really listen to her when she talks. It doesn't have to be big, or important and more often than not the most important times will be just about her day. Listen to what she says, and don't let anything else get in the way of spending that kind of to observe."

To this day, I cannot express what that man now means to me. He is a second father, the most loving, kind and serviceable man I know. We have our personality differences, likes and dislikes, but I've never felt so close or trusted by anyone, including choir director, mission president, stake president's etc. He is my rock and holds my full admiration.

I returned. Only a week or two left before I'd join Josie's family for a trip to Disneyland, where I had it all planned out to propose. She'd think that it was my first time meeting her mom. And probably even an engagement, but what day? In what part of the park? How would I go about it, or would I propose at all. I can't imagine what those 2 weeks must have been like. She must have asked me to propose 3 or 4 times before we left. One time in fact I placed a plastic Halloween bat ring on her finger and promise that I would propose someday soon and that my heart was hers. The anticipation was enough for both of us and we both got sick the night before we drove to California!

Our Story - From Dating to Exclusive Dating

It was spring of 2011 when I met her. Unbeknownst to me, I stole her chair at orientation training at Chuck A Rama. I got hired because I was the owner's friend's roommate. She got hired because she was from Las Vegas where the Service Manager was from. She claimed her stuff, which I clearly was oblivious to when I sat down, but immediately apologized. She gave a "seriously-but-whatever" glance for about a half second before accepting my apology with a flirty smile and volunteered to sit elsewhere.

She didn't know that I would have immediately released her seat back to her, had I been a second or two ahead, but her stunning smile left me blank-minded and slightly abashed. After all, what guy doesn't look forward to being one of the few male servers surrounded by so many beautiful young women? Well, one less person to try to impress, I tried to silver-line the moment, what are the chances that it had to be the most beautiful girl there? I didn't know then how rude I had been, or home much I'd come to love and rely upon her quick and clever response times. Or that out of the male severs, I'd be the luckiest of them all.

At the time, I was still getting over a confusing break-up that happened 4 months previous. It was difficult for me to get over because, every breakup in the past, I had always remained decent if not great friends with, after the break-up. I supposed in hind-site I needed this very really and very painful break-up to help me understand and sympathize with the only type of break-up Josie had ever known. "It's just weird" she'd later discuss, "that you're still friends with people you had feelings for! What does it matter anymore? Isn't that awkward, or confusing? When you break-up, it's over, no one wants anything to do with you anymore." This is a thing I had previously never supposed, but am glad to have experienced for empathy sake.

Our first date brought us to Charlie's Ice Cream Shop. From the time she picked me up, through the time we sat in the parlor, to nearly midnight as we sat in the car not wanting to leave each other, we were like instant best friends, laughing, making jokes, swapping stories and had one of the best times I've had for a very long time! This was definitely a second date must kind of girl. That's when I knew this could turn into a very good thing! I couldn't wait to ask her on another date.

For our second date we walked a little over a block with buckets, soap and broom in hand to do a volunteer service project cleaning off park benches, and sweeping wood chips off the side-walk. I swept her off her feet by incorrectly and clumsily singing Chim-chimery from Mary Poppins.

Our third date was planned, but delayed by an evening due to my choosing to go skateboarding, broke myself, got hauled off by an ambulance and being told to crutch away and that my fractured pelvis and 10th rib would take about 4-6 months to full heal and to keep all weight off it for 2 months.

I made a silly promise that I would never seriously date a co-worker in the event that drama might potentially creep into the workplace should things not work out... but since I could no longer wait tables... =) Her visiting me daily and taking care of me won my heart over.

A therapist I was meeting with around the same time had asked me why I was almost 26 and not married. He seemed to think my slow pace of waiting to hold hands for a few weeks into dating, and not kissing until a few weeks after that was ridiculously slow, and how was a woman to wait around that long, or even know if she was interested if we waited so long to show physical affection? Needless to say I bravely tried kissing Josie on the 3rd date after she was sending some REAL strong signals. =)

At the start of each next three week, (I might as well mention it since Josie won't let me live it down, haha) I tried breaking up with her. THREE times! And each time she retorted that I can't simply kiss her and then try to break up with her as if I got what I wanted and was done with her. I agreed with her, but was REALLY struggling with how fast things were going, how lame (literally could not walk) I was, and how boring it must be for her to have her stick around. After the third attempt to break-up, she confessed that no one had ever treated her or respected her the way I had, she fought tooth and nail, so I resorted to the only thing I knew how to do when faced with a difficult decision. Pray, but pray together. As I asked that the Holy Ghost be present to guide me in what I should pray for, an undeniable wave of peace and comfort came over me, followed by a coarse rebuking thought, "Jake, ya dork, I've sent you EXACTLY what you've asked for, don't mess this up."

Ever since, I have never once doubted my relationship with Josie. Things were much easier and when I prayed to know whether we were compatible for marriage, the answer came again and again, "As long as you both put the Lord first in your relationship, things will always work out. The rest is history, which I'll most likely continue in another post.